Fostering a lab group based on principles of diversity, equity, and inclusion is a never-ending project, and it can falter at any time. It requires intention, thought, and considered (sometimes restrained) action by the head of the lab. Importantly, it means that everyone is treated with R-E-S-P-E-C-T and are genuinely listened to (seems simple, but requires forethought and one to practice deep listening). It also means that the head of the lab must as an advocate for their people, both in daily encounters when boundaries are crossed, and in larger career-related matters. It requires a healthy dose of culture and values setting, that must be reinforced over time, especially for new people. For the Morrison Lab, it has also meant making lab decisions by consensus jointly in lab meetings, so everyone has a stake in the outcome. It also means dealing swiftly with conflict so that it does not threaten the well-being of others or the group dynamics. We all recognize that we are in this together, and as I repeatedly say, ‘a rising tide lifts all ships’. I will share some reflections eight years into managing my own lab, touching on how white, cis, het, males can genuinely claim their role as a feminist, model vulnerability, admit error when appropriate, and use their privileged position to help the least enfranchised in the lab hierarchy.